Things That Must Go...April Style

1- Non-compact cars in the compact cars stall:
I work at the Well's Fargo building and the parking is already such a pain. It's so freaking compact that I am literally always worried I am going to drive into a truck's hitch when I go around the corners. However, there are SEVERAL bonus parking stalls that are for "compact cars" only. Now, when I think "compact" I am thinking of, Mini's, Metro's, The Smart Car...I am kind of thinking the Passat is even a stretch here. Wanna know what is really a stretch? An Escalade, an F150, an H2, a Tahoe. I have seriously seen all these cars parked in the compact stalls, so to teach them a lesson I park right next to them and usually I park so close to them that they probably have to go in through the passenger side....I am never above teaching lessons....

2- Facebook Flare:
Am I the only one on the planet that isn't into facebook flare? Am I the only one not laughing? Seriously, stop: throwing snowballs at me, giving me wedgies, attempting to purchase me, giving me 2 extra minutes at lunch, throwing lambs at me. I'm REALLY not into it....

3-Transition Lenses
There is only one person in the world that I know can pull of the transition lenses. Her name is Joy and she works in my office. Everyone else, you look like a perv. I can't quite pinpoint what creeps me out about it, maybe its the fact that you are come indoors and it takes 5 minutes for me to be able to see your eyeball again. Or maybe its the fact that I can see your eye ball and every second it gets darker....and darker...until I can no longer see your eyeball. Where are you looking, what are you looking at? We have no idea! Like I said, I can't pinpoint it...but they totally creep me out. So company's, please stop making them. Consumers, please stop buying them.

4- Employees Must Wash Their Hands
Every time I see one of these signs it really grosses me out. For starters, what kind of world are we living in that we actually have to make it a law that employees have to wash their hands after going to the bathroom. It shouldn't be a law....it's called common courtesy or AKA personal hygiene.

And let's be honest, I have a hard time thinking that the employee at Taco Bell goes to the bathroom and is about to walk back to the taco station and passes the sign and thinks ,"Oh yeah, I am supposed to wash my hands before returning to work." Sorry, not happening. I assume they look at the sign and think...."Oh yeah, you can't tell em what to do. I'll show you....." Sorry, did I take this too far?

5- The "Bill Gates" email:
Folks, Bill Gates isn't going to share his multi-million dollar fortune with you by forwarding on the email. Caroline Gibson in North Carolina didn't really receive a check for $108,900 for forwarding the email. Microsoft doesn't need to track how emails forward. It's a hoax people....please stop sending me this email that has been circulating for about 8 years now.... My freshman year of college (2001) I forwarded it along to everyone I knew....I never received the check and I learned my lesson. For those still forwarding this email around, learn your lesson please.