I have been debating about writing this for days because I know I am one of the only people that feel this way...but I just can't stop thinking about it. And if I don't write it it's just going to bottle up until I go postal. I know, sounds scary right? So last week Lisa and I attempted (key word) to see TWILIGHT. Seriously? I felt like I had died and gone to hell. I know, I know, maybe I went in with too high of expectations. I know, I know, I saw it at the dollar theater, what was I expecting. I know, I know, I shouldn't have watched it the day after seeing Slumdog Millionaire.
We get to the theater and it really was just a downward spiral. We wind up sitting right in front of this less than pleasant looking family with like 5 kids under 5. Also, it made me super uncomfortable to see 2 grown men seeing the movie by themselves....seriously? It made me feel sad for them because they were alone...mixed with being really uncomfortable. I couldn't help but think that they were there to perp on kids. There, I said it. I am my mother's daughter...
Anyhow, after 40 EXCRUCIATING, painful minutes of watching this movie we were out the door. Honestly, Lisa wanted to leave 20 minutes into it but I was convinced that it had to get better. Nope, it didn't. And after the less than pleasant mother turned to her husband and whispered, "I just got goosebumps" we were out of there.
However, I have taken this time to compile a list of things that sound better than having to watch Twilight ever again:
-Chinese water torture
-Attending a funeral
-Having each of my toenails ripped off....one at a time
-Watch a badmitton tournament
-Drive through scenic Wyoming
-Giving a sponge bath to a geriatric
-Clean the men's locker room at ANY gym
-Read the Dictionary
-Go to a Jonas Brother's Concert
-Get Vinerial Disease
I'm sorry, seriously am I alone on this one? Come on Lisa, I know you have my back...
18 comments:
Can't. Stop. Laughing! This is too funny! I agree, the movie was TERRIBLE! I especially liked being able to see the wires when they were running, and the cruddy makeup jobs. And was it just me or did Bella blink like every 1.5 seconds? Bad casting, bad script, bad "special" (as in handicapped) effects. Ugh! This movie is horrible! And yet I know I'll watch it again with an obsessed fan I'm acquainted with...I am ashamed.
Be prepared to take some sh*t for this post 'cause telling people Twilight the movie sucks is like telling someone their baby is ugly. I'd rather lick the bottom of my shoe after walking through a porno theatre than have to watch this movie again :).
Wow...now I know it wasn't the best show in the world, but I would not do one thing on that list over seeing the movie again. You are so funny!! Entertaining as well!!
I'm with you!! I just watched it for the second time because my friend hadn't seen it yet and really wanted to. Man, I was dying! I just can't take how super serious in love they are and Bella's incessant blinking and stuttering. I wanted to like it, I really did. But... I couldn't do it.
I have seen the movie three times. I saw it on opening night just because i thought it would be fun with all the real fans. Then i went with my family another two times. I am not a fan of the books and the only reason I watch the movie is because i think Edward is cute. I did laugh out loud about ten times during it though. I am on your side about this. Although i might see the next one to see if it gets any better.
I've never even read the books... I love that you'd rather drive through Wyoming...because for me, I'd brave Twilight. I hate Wyoming. (Is that bad?) I love your blog by the way! You're an amazing writer and I love your stories. Kudos!
Love the books, but the trailer totally turned me off and I have yet to see the movie. The fact that you would rather get a venereal disease than watch Twilight again speaks volumes and I will probably never see the movie. Thanks for the warning and the graphic examples.
Ok, moment of truth. Would you rather watch this again or Elizabethtown? And you HAVE to choose. And death is not an option.
(This is where you imagine me "taking a picture" with my fingers in the air) Click!
So I admit that I liked the books. Overly cheesy, yes, sometimes make you want to gag, yes, but very entertaining. I agree with you about the movie. It was terrible acting, I thought Robert Pattison did an ok job. The special effects were terrible. Because I had read the books I wanted to see what they would do for the movie. I am sure I will see the other movies as well, but I did think it was pretty terrible. We have a book club here that only reads books on Stephanie Meyers favorite books list. It has become my pet peeve! While I enjoyed Twilight kind of like I enjoyed Harry Potter, there is many other great books out there. It makes me so mad because they ruin the book group for everyone else. I have honestly thouhgt about sending Stephanie Meyer fan a letter (not that she would actually read it) saying that because of her book list, our book group is no longer allowed to choose any books that aren't on her list. Ridiculous. Anyway, there is my pet peeve.
i just got goosebumps reading your post.
seriously- the mom said that!? that is the greatest thing i have ever heard. it also reiterates my stance on the twilight series. everyone and their great aunt has been trying to get me to read these books- and i won't do it all because of one comment a lady told me at work one day:
"you really should read twilight. it will change your life. it will change the way you see things"
i got goosebumps when she said that. not good goosebumps- but the ones that creep me out.
Okay, so I have read both Twilight and New Moon and seen the movie. I don't know if I can continue reading this series as I found the writing to be horrible and I can't handle the words shudder and velvet. Bleh!!! Use a thesaurus! I didn't think the movie was too bad. It wasn't the best I've ever seen but for the budget they had, they made due. Hopefully they get a more experienced make up artist on that set to give everyone some color! Ghostly pale is not a good option for anyone.
Ohhh, this is a fun game, you know how I love comparisons! You still have not gotten back to me on whether you'd like to eat a bowl of scabs or puke marbles. I'm waiting. This question is not rhetorical!
Anywho I have yet to see the movie, and yet, and in some sick way your post only further intrigued me...
You are such a hater Kate!! haha I loved your things you would rather do though, it was highly entertaining. You really walked out? How many movies have you walked out of before? I have to get a feel for if this is a normal occurrance or if it was really THAT bad. I actually didn't mind the movie, I think because I was expecting it to be terrible, I was pleasantly surprised. Not that it should be an academy award winner by any means!
hey i'm not even mad about twilight, i am MAD about the DRIVE THROUGH SCENIC WYO! you are officially clueless/mean bitch! that's it, you HAVE to come to lander this summer when i am there. it will change your view on wyo forever! have you ever been to jackson hole or yellowstone? next time say "drive on i80 through wyo"...
i meant to say, watch your back miss provo...or should i say miss spanish fork! yeah, i went there....
What the hell is wrong with me?!?
I know your standard of me just went way down for admitting I liked this movie. But sadly, I did! In all honesty, I read the books and wanted to go see how the movie compared. I was expecting A LOT worse so I think my standard was low to begin with and I wasn't expecting a lot. I know, I know...it's no excuse for the amount of torment it put millions like you through. I fully admit it was like watching a low-budget, Spanish-channel soap opera...but hey, apparently I'm into that??? Again, what the hell is wrong with me?!? Don't you dare judge me! ;)
love you.
Kate - give it another chance!
Cade
oh glitter. i just can't thank you enough. i watched this movie last night with my mom and wanted to commit suicide; but couldn't really say anything because my mom is for some reason one of the "goosebump" types and kept pointing out how 'cool" the writing was in parts; at which point i threw up in my mouth and then ate it again. just to have an excuse to leave. i have been repressing these feelings and wondering if disdaining this phenomenon made me a lesbian....and the truth shall set you free.
You probably won't even read this, by now. Yes, IT was bad. The scene in the class room is so over the top were they're staring at eachother and the theatrical music is sooooo bad! And I paid $8.50! I went to a "real" theatre because, yes, I am a theatre snob. I refuse to see, no, set foot in a Dollar Theatre because of all the bad expreinces I've had. Also, I'm with Kristine, I don't which is worse, Elizabeth Town or Twlight. And I love David's comment. I think she did blink every 1.5 sec.
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