So this weekend I was running (literally) around Gateway trying to get to my movie and this homeless man stopped me and said, "Hey, you look rich, can I have some of your money?" Seriously? Little did I know that this was going to only be the start of a tactless filled weekend.
On Saturday for work I had to attend the "Expanding Your Horizon's" conference for girls. The conference is for girls from 6th grade to high school who are interested in science and math. I have so much in common with these girls...yeah....totally my demographic. As I was at the fair, I struck up a conversation with a mother/daughter combo. After a few minutes of chatting we put it together that her son and I had gone to high school together. Honestly, I have no idea who her son is, but I just figured it would be better to just go along with it. I decided to do the whole, "So what is Ryan up to anyways?" She looks at me and says, while rolling her eyes mind you, "He is FINALLY getting married next month." Hey dipshit, check your audience, check my finger. Your son and I are the same age....and I am not married. So next time, no need to roll your eyes and enunciate the word FINALLY. Thanks.
Then to make matters worse, about 5 minutes later, this totally awkward homely looking high school girl walks up to me nursing a Dr Pepper and a highly caffinated SOBE. I told her that she was too young to possibly need that much caffeine. She's an insomniac she explained...and apparently I do not want to see her without caffeine. Naturally. Just for you Timberwolves out there, this girl was the female version of Peter Olsen....yeah....just wanting to give you a full visual. So after her talking to me for about 10 minutes about fantasy novels, video games, math equations, insomnia, leprachauns and caffeine she asks me where I went to high school. I told her THS (the best, uh) and she told me that she thought I had said I went to North Summit. Sorry, no I told her. Then she said, "Oh I just figured that if you had gone to North Summit you probably would have gone to high school with my mom." So as if being single (eye roll please) isn't bad enough, apparently I look like I am in my 40's, awesome.
So for what it's worth, thank's Expanding Your Horizon's for helping me expand my own horizon's....
13 comments:
Maybe it wasn't so much that you look 40, but rather that you sound like you've been smoking for the past 40...!? Possible.
Just so you know, dipshit is one of my favorite swears... Ha!
PS - one of my YW thought I graduated from HS in '93. And when I glared at her she backtracked to '89. You're just making it worse, sweetie.
Katie, once again you have the stories like no one else! Sounds like you handled it all gracefully though!
Did you just use the word "dipshit?" I really can't stop myself from laughing at this one. How do all these funny things happen to you? Can I please come and hang out with you a whole day? Or better yet, come here and hang out with me...and my two nino's.
Oh how grateful I am for NOT having to work EYH this year! Shoot. Me. NOW!
By the by, Jennica said she saw you there and that you looked FAB! (As always!)
You have the best stories! If people are rolling thier eyes that you are single at your age..think of Greg :) It wouldn't happen outside of Utah!
All I can say is OUCH. Man, people are stupid.
oh gildea, you kill me. utah culture is so lame sometimes. we are wee sprites at 26.
Haha, too funny. Can't seem to pick a favorite... what a riot.
i love that you called number two tactful a dipshit! but i also love that you went along with it even though you didn't know her son. and just for the record, high schoolers are so stupid! you look younger than you are- because you dress so good it must have thrown her off. next time wear your heelies, skinny jeans with a metal belt and a tight t-shirt that says something like, "i got it from my mama" on it. then she'll think you're her classmate....
Dear "Expanding Your Horizons,"
Thanks for giving Kate such classic and awakward experiences that make us laugh.
Love,
Kate's Blogstalkers
Katie,
Your blog is the perfect study break as I prepare for three weeks of finals hell at law school. But, just wanted you to know that I attended the Expanding Your Horizons conference at least two times when I was young...and you and I have tons in common. Maybe it's because we aren't married...thanks for making me laugh!
Katie, just wanted to thank you for providing some humor during my three weeks of finals hell. Your blog is the perfect study break. I also wanted to let you know that I attended the Expanding Your Horizons conference at least two times in my younger years, and we have a lot in common...maybe it's because we still aren't married...thanks for making me laugh.
Post a Comment