Have A Wronged You?

You know how they say, "Kharma's a Bitch?" I know. Obviously I must have done something to someone that I am getting paid back for. I would LOVE to fix this, will you please tell me who you are...and what I have done to you....I can't afford to pay back anymore.

On Saturday I woke up and was hanging out in my underoo's drinking my morning Diet Coke when the door bell rang. I scampered off to my room hearing my neighbor ask the dreaded question, does anyone own that VW Passat across the street. Oh...shit...I do. That's never a good question, obviously something was wrong. I knew my neighbor wasn't just thinking, that's a cute Passat, I wonder who owns it? So, I head outside to see this...

Yeah, what you are seeing here is what happens to glass when it's struck with an object such as a baseball bat. I am going to go 50/50 here with the robber though. They were after what looks like a purse, which was in fact my scripture bag. The very same scripture bag that had already been gone through in the previous robbery:

The little yellow ditty right there. I would have loved to have seen the look on their faces when they open up the purse to find a quad, some lip gloss, some gum and a Gospel Essentials lesson manual. I just wish I would have known, I would have saved them the trouble and taken them down to the distribution center, I believe I paid $3.95 for the manual. They weren't really interested in keeping the bag or anything, I was able to find my stuff strewn throughout the neighborhood, kind of like a mini scavenger hunt. We were able to get everything back, except, brace yourself....the Orbit gum....

Naturally I was back on the phone with the SLPD (Salt Lake Police Department) and let me just tell you, that's 5 minutes of my life I can't get back. It ended up with them telling me that they wouldn't be sending anyone out, and to let them know if I saw anything suspicious. Gee, thanks for the tip you worthless idiots. I mean, can you just humor me for a moment and come out and and take some pictures....have me sign something....anything. Anything to show me that you are actually earning the salary that is being withheld from my paycheck every month. I just wish they had sent the lady cop to tell me I was SOL again, I loved that. It's just nice to see that they are really wanting to take a bite out of crime, thanks SLPD.

Luckily they robbed 3 cars on Friday night so no this was not a hate crime. For some reason it made me feel better.

I took it into the shop on Saturday to get it fixed and I felt so white trash even driving it there. It looks like I either live in the ghetto, or I have some crazy x-boyfriend that paid me a visit. I didn't even bother calling Met Life on this one, I just decided to pay out of pocket. I can't afford to lose my auto insurance too.

So after $170 in window repairs I was on my way. However, I got a little bit of a flat on the way home so I stopped at Maverick to pump up the tire. I was just bending over to test my tire pressure when I heard this guy in an Escalade whistle at me. I stood up, gave him a look of death and had my hand ready to give the bird (sorry Mom) when he got out and asked if he could help me. Usually I would have said no, but sure why not. So out hops this little scrawny 20 year old boy to help me with the tires. His friends also got out to watch, these friends included a 5' tall Thai man (maybe around 28) in gangster clothes, a 45 year old homeless looking crippled man on a cane, a 22 year old Hispanic pregnant girl and a 40 year old white lady. I know quite the crew. We all just stood there, the only conversation we had was when the Thai thug said, "Nice car" and I said, "Thanks....you drive an Escalade." I did tell the tire man about the bad day I was having and he said that he was willing to help me with that situation too. So, I guess this is a warning to whoever keeps stealing from me...do you want that weird mix of people showing up at your door? Watch yourself.

I don't live in a scary neighborhood, my friend Dave explained that "Ghetto don't steal from Ghetto." They come from his neighborhood, and come steal from my neighborhood. So, does anyone have some vacancies in West Valley....I need to move to the Ghetto....