I would like to apologize for my absence...but when the Olympics are on I have no time for blogging. But as always, I have kept a list of things that have been bothering me for the last month. So here you have it, things that must go August style:
1-Tank Tops 4 Men: It's summer, I know...I know....it's hot. Trust me, I get it. I am sporting about 3 layers these days and sometimes I wonder if I have landed on the sun because its so hot. But just because it's hot I just don't see why men need to air out their hairy arm pits. If I can handle the 5 inches of fabric that extends over and heats up my shoulders, believe me men, I know you can do it too. I have faith in you.
2- Foreign Help on the Phone: Now maybe its only me, but I feel as if every phone call I make these days (minus T-Mobile) I end up talking to Habib in India. Now, I am surely not being racist about this but when I am already upset and having a problem on my bill and whatnot the last thing in the world I need is a language barrier. Am I right or am I right?
3-Teenie Bop Mom's: Oh man, I am not sure if I notice it more in the summer or what but man oh man I have seen about a million Teenie Bop Mom's this summer. Definition of the teenie bop, they feel competition between themselves and their teenage daughters. A couple of my VERY favorite this summer:
-A 40 year old ish Mom and her 2 teenage daughters all sporting their MATCHING, yes you heard me right, MATCHING Billibong bikini's. Seriously?
-Mom's wearing the short denim skirts with their butt cheeks hanging out while escorting her teenagers to the pool (note, no one should do this, not me, not you, not your Mom)
-The Mom at Sport's Academy that pulls up in her pimped out Escalade that strips down to the metallic....yes silver metallic bikini weekly. It's just to much...there are no words
-The Mom's that feel the need to wear shirts that don't work with a bra. I don't think I need to expand on this one. Tube tops+Mom Boobs=Bad
4-The Ol' Buzz Cut: Why in the world do 99% of men think its ok to Buzz their hair in the summer? Here's my qualms, seriously I think anyone over the age of 14 maybe 10% of the population looks good with a buzz cut. Those aren't good odds, that means that 90% of you don't look good. Are those the kind of odd's you want to mess with? It's kind of like perms for women....not good odds. So like I said, 10% not good odds, but on top of that you make yourself sound ridiculous because I hear ALL of them say "I had to buzz it off because it's just too hot." Ok Pedro, sorry your scalp got so hot but how in the world do you think us women survive all year long with these mops. It really can't be that bad, it really can't.
The End.
14 comments:
Yeah, Nick gives me that crappy line about it being too hot to keep his hair 1 inch long. Like the one inch is anything compared to my 12 inches.
Although he now has a new excuse for the buzz cut. I am sure he will appreciate me telling you that his hairline is retreating so quickly, the buzz cut is a necessity.
I agree with everything but the last one. I LOVE my husbacd with a shaved head, do you watch prison break....hello, Lincoln+ Micheal+Shaved Heads=HOT. Although I guess all the men i am mentioning are extremely good looking so maybe they can get away with any hair style. i do however buzz me boys head because teh minute i try and style their hair, they are rubbing out the gel and the style so they end up with a mop of hair....anyways i am rambling. LOVE these posts, you are hilarious!
I think the true frustration lies in your inability to buzz your head and wear tank tops. I dare you to try it. Don't be hating on us men when you have the free will to do the same. Also, I support your wearing of a metallic bikini. You go girl!
Katie you never disappoint. You can always count on a good laugh,when you come to your posts... and I agree with all of the above!
KATIE WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!! I HAVE NEEDED YOUR HUMOR IN MY LIFE! This list I think tops for me. I laughed so hard on all of them. SO TRUE!! How are you so dead on? Please blog more :)
a few things...megan is right, shaved heads are where its at. im a sucker for a shaved head. One that is shaved because of style, not because they are receeding (sorry nick). Also, what the olypics? why is everyone so obsessed.
other than that youre right on. Why male tanktops were ever created is beyobnd me. Dont get me started on the square neck wife beaters all the dances on SYTYCD sport. barfaroni.
Katie, I think this is a post where pictures would have been a big help. Dad out
I've been looking forward to this all weekend since you told me you were going to get a new post up. First of all, thank you. Secondly, please add to your Teeny-Bopper Mom column: Moms who take their young children to see Hannah Montana or the American Idol Finalists and wear the same skin tight shirts, short shorts and layers of make-up as their 12 year old daughters. That Must Go...
We are on the same wavelength girl! I am picking up what you're putting down on all of the above...especially teeny bopper moms. Hello? You had your chance like 35 years ago...odds are, those 30 years have not been kind...especially if you've given birth in the meantime. Cover it up!!!
I am not hurt by Nicole's comments. It is true. I am loosing the battle with hair. I look stupid with my hair longer. Hair not growing on the front half of the head is so old. Shaved head = cool guy.
Yeah, I will have to remember this in January, it is not so applicable in this hemisphere in August.
As I was reading about the teenie-bop moms, I thought you meant yuppie young Utah Mom's at first. I was going to have a good laugh at people cheering you on about your crusade when half of the comments would have been from what I thought of as 'teenie-bop' moms. -Hell, I probably am one myself.
Please tell me why you didn't rant about the moms that shop at the Buckle. They're my favorite pet-peeves. And trust me, we've all seen a Buckle mom.
I hear you on the haircut thing! Shane always goes way too far with his summer buzz. He looks so much cuter with a little length. Otherwise, he looks like he's ready to enlist. Sounds like you are in SLC now. How fun! Hope all is well!
men in tank tops-yes. women who need to act their age at the pool-yes.
did i mention i love your things that must go? one thing you did forget though is the "five minute potty breaks at the pool" because too many people pee in the pool. sick. must go!
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