Sunday, June 8, 2008

Swim Bottoms + Crotch Sniff + K-Mart= Confused Customer...

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I hope you enjoyed the little diagram I just spent 25 minutes on. But just looking at it makes it all worth while. Now for those of you that read my sister Natalie's BLOG (which should be all of you, her BLOG is HILARIOUS!) this will be a repeat, but I figured there are lot's of readers out there that don't so I didn't want to deprive you of this story. I swear, that the story I am about to tell you is 100% true. I have not even taken ANY creative liberties here. So here goes...

Four summers ago, I was living at home in Orem for summer break. My friend Trevor had invited me to go to Lake Powell with some friends and I realized I had lost my swim bottoms in the move. So I searched high and low for some new swim bottoms but it was July so they were pretty picked over. Then I finally thought, hey I bet K-Mart will have something. So I drove down there and sure enough I found a pair that would work. So bought them, took them home....and then never used them. I am a little iffy on the details here but I am SURE I never wore them. So a couple weeks later I was cleaning my room and I found the UNWORN (this is important, unworn) bottoms so I decided to take them back. This is where it gets weird....

So I walk up to the customer service and explain that I would like to return these UNWORN, tags still in place, swim bottoms. She asks me the usual questions, have these been worn, is there anything wrong, etc. I explain that I just didn't need them and whatnot and then all the sudden she grabs the swim bottoms but the crotch and takes 2 huge whiffs. I naturally stop mid sentence and here's what goes through my mind:

1- Is that company policy? Even if it was, I would tell my boss that they are only paying me $5.15 and hour, there is no way in hell I am doing a crotch check on swim wear.
2-What if those had been worn? A, you just smelled crotch and B are you really going to hand them back to me and say....these have been worn and we don't accept worn clothing back?
3-What if I were to challenge her and say they hadn't been worn, is she going to make me smell check it too?

I seriously just stood there, dumbfounded. Well, dumbfounded, embarrassed, disgusted, confused...Well, and of course I looked around because I assume I am on Candid Camera, that's the only explanation. Soon enough I am just grabbing my $4.00 back and I am on my way. Seriously, still waiting for candid camera to show up. I never signed a release....so I am just assuming that's K-Mart's return policy on swim wear. Needless to say, I have not bought swim wear from them ever again. I seriously rushed home to tell my Dad the story and we were DYING! It's been a family favorite ever since. But it's nice to remember this story EVERYTIME I put on a swimsuit.....

22 comments:

AnneMarie said...

Uncle Rico comes to mind, you know Napoleon Dynamite. That is gross!

Kara and Mike Barber said...

I am laughing so hard right now! I swear you always have the funniest stories! Keep them coming!

Kristine L. said...

This story never gets old. Ever.

Julie Knowlton said...

Dearest Kate,

I would like to thank you for noticing my blog slacking (I honestly haven't been online in weeks), so I posted something. Then, to my pure delight, I clicked on your blog and realized what I had been depriving myself of these last few weeks, your blog. That story brought me so much joy.

Bless you.

Nicole said...

Even though I have heard this story multiple times, it is still hilarious and unbelievable and GROSS.

Unknown said...

this is perhaps the best blog entry i have EVER come across. thank you.

Gaengy said...

Katie... Katie ...Katie...it was a funny story in real life...and funnier in written word. You are too funny. My girls have the funniest experiences. Must get it from thier dad.

Natalie Que said...

This visual is priceless. No matter how many times I hear {or tell} this story, it NEVER gets old. There just really are no words to say after a story like that.

Steph said...

WOW! I can't believe I never heard that one from you....that is hilarious! Thanks for the great share.

Gaengy said...

I dont get it, what is so funny about this

Mink News said...

Katie, this is JesseAnn, I just wanted to say HI!!! I saw your blog on Chelseys. It looks like you are doing so good and having tons of fun!

kristen said...

you make me laugh so hard. I always make my mom read your blog. also, i love that your mom is gaengy on here. how perfectly hilarious.

mare said...

well thank damn goodness for blogs. i have been having the worst day ever until i partook of this story. thanks gildea.

i laughed and laughed and almost woke my ornery sleeping baby.

Chelsi Lasater said...

That is the best story ever. I fully appreciated the diagrams. Ps. Do you know this is Chelsi Lasater?

Chelsey said...

Oh my gosh, that is the grossest thing ever! What did it say her title was on her name tag? Customer Service/ Swimwear Crotch Smeller?

::David and Erin:: said...

Aren't there sex offenders who do this for a rush...steal and sniff women's underwear? I'm just saying, it's somethin' to think about...what Kmart was it again? I won't go near it, even with a loaded weapon.

Ashleigh said...

Of course, one of my favorites . . . this and the socks are right up there together. I laugh everytime!

Whitney said...

that is freakin hilarious! as i began reading it and hadn't gotten to the smelling part it crossed my mind that this might lead to YOU smelling the crotch and i was hoping that would not be the case! but let's get down to the real point here, k-mart kate?

Muncher Cruncher said...

ha ha ha...one of the best stories i've heard. ummm speaking of lake powell...?!?!??

Jenny G said...

I will never think of swimmers the same again :)

The Webber's said...

Darren and I were crying when we read this and your latest list of things to go! Sadly enough, your blog posts are one of my highlights - They are so hilarious! I probably should get a life, but you are so hilarious! Where are you living these days? If you are in Logan still, we should get together! We are living here now...

Kendall Watkins said...

Seriously, I cried because I was laughing so hard when I read this. Thank you for sharing.