Dear Santa...Dear Officer...Dear Bastard...

I decided to get my Christmas list out a little early this year....just in case Santa was starting to read the blog to see what I wanted. Santa...this is what I am looking for:

-A new 30 G I-pod

-A new pair of Skull Candy earphones

-A new I-pod armband

-A new I-pod car charger

-A new laptop power cord

-A new navigation system

-A new navigation system car charger

-30 pairs of new earrings

-A new pair of real pearl earrings

-A new jewelry box

-3 new bottles of perfume

-A new DVD player

Now you might be wondering, "Man this is quite a list Kate...why so needy this year?" You are a hard working single gal who makes a decent honest wage...don't you already have these things? Well let me tell you, some ass hole came and robbed my house yesterday. So Santa, please replace these items. I assume they can mostly be found at a Pawn Shop in Wendover right as we speak, while you are at it check Rock Springs WY as well (if you have time!) And no, I am not sure on the serial numbers on those items so as the "Lady Cop" told me yesterday, I probably am SOL... I appreciate the honesty.

So, let's rewind and start from the beginning. Lisa called me freaking out yesterday saying that she thought the house had been robbed. When she came home from work yesterday our door looked like this:

I had no idea you can just kick through a deadbolt and then peal off the side of the door and then throw it down the stairs. That's what I love, I am 25 and still learning so much.

So I told her to call the police and left work right then. When I got home it was really nice to see your house in topsy turvey. It really looked like a Lifetime movie set...and not in a good way (seriously, who doesn't love television for women?) Oh, and in case you don't really know me very well. My room is always SPOTLESS. I make my bed everyday, I never leave anything out. Do you like what I have done with the place? I think I have a future in Interior Design? What do you think? I hate playing favorites, but I did really love the thought of someone digging out my underwear drawer and throwing undies and bra's everywhere. Not only did you touch it, I had to look at it and clean it up...oh and luckily the 4 policeman and detectives got to look at it and photograph it too. Love that. Oh, and I love that you looked under my mattress, dug through my sheets and pillows. I hope your hands were clean! Don't forget a drawer...make sure you get into every single one...I would hate for you to miss something!They also went through every bag I own including the DI Bags (as shown) my scripture bag, temple bag, every purse and every piece of luggage in my room. I did laugh though because they stole the gum and lip gloss out of my scripture bag. Really, you couldn't leave the the damn Orbit? There were a couple boxes in there too...and naturally every single one was opened and dug through.

You can't really tell in this picture but the picture frames are all over and look at my poor little Giraffe tipped over. Not documented were the dirty footprint all over the house. I loved looking at those throughout the house, especially when they were all over my room next to my bed. Thanks for not even wiping off your feet you Ass Hat.

So long farewell....one of 3 DVD players that were stolen.
And this is what my room mate Jamie's room looked like after everything. Took all her bedding off, cleaned out her drawers and took apart the bookshelf to make stealing everything easier.

Naturally we were all pretty devastated and upset about the whole thing. And just when you think it can't get any worse...it does. This morning while getting ready for work I hear Jamie scream and start to cry. Luckily I can hear her since I don't have an i-pod to listen to. Lucky me. So I run out to hear her on the phone with her Mom saying that her spare key was stolen and those bastards came back last night and STOLE HER CAR! Seriously? So we got to spend the morning with the cops again and luckily in the 22 years he has working for the SLPD he has never seen anything like this, he has never seen them come back. Lucky us, I love being a trend setter! And I just love the fact that I cried myself to sleep sometime around 12:45 and when my room mate got home around 1:30 the car had been stolen. I guess they were just waiting for my light to turn off, that was so thoughtful.

Really, it could have been so much worse and I just keep trying to remember that. I am just so thankful no one was home and that they only got to 3 of us....oddly enough they only got to the 3 of us that have renters insurance. And the real kicker, I just added renters insurance to my policy, which went into effect at 12:01 am on December 8th....as in yesterday. Seriously, the silver lining.

When factoring in the lap tops, i pods, digital cameras, jewelry, web cams, DVD players a F150 truck...we are down over $30,000 at this point. Well, and if you count the Oribit its closer to $30,001. Terrific.

I asked the cop if there was a way to notify the other robbers out there that we had already been cleaned out, he offered no suggestions. But I am curious dear readers, do any of you have any spare lambs? In the 10 commandements I remember they were instructed to paint their door frames with lambs blood for "the green smoke" (ok, caught me I only remember the movie version, I can't remember what the green smoke meant. But it was something bad...) to pass so I figure now is as a great time to follow the prophets. Right? So about that lamb...

So robber, I would like to thank you for adding a little spice to our holiday season. We really appreciate it. And truth be told, if you burn in hell I will be ok with that (you can probably use my navigation system to find the way, I would offer to help but...). Merry Christmas to you too.