Monday, July 7, 2008

The 4th, The Stork and White Trash Behavior

First off, before I get to this post I have been wondering if people still read my BLOG...if you saw the comments you would be thinking about 10 people do....I got the site meter back today and there are lots of you reading...reveal yourselves...
Anyways, like I said I feel like I have lots to cover from this 4th of July weekend. As you have seen the title of this BLOG I have a lot to cover....and this picture kind of incorporates all 3 elements, I am standing by a flag (4th of July check), I couldn't look more white trash (white trash check) and as you can see I have not been using that Bender Ball I ordered from the infomercial so it looks like I might be a couple months pregnant (stork check) but actually these are all very separate offences. So read on...

The 4th started with the usual activity, no on the parade, no on McDonalds breakfast (yes we Gildea's love the double cheeses but we also celebrate the 4th from the breakfast menu) and no on the hot air balloon races....no, no no, I went against the grain this year and I went straight for the pedicures. This is kind of a weird picture, but instead of trying to explain to that adorable little Thai girl who weighs about 73 pounds on a good day I thought I would try this. The pedicure wasn't in the plans but after the bratty 17 year old who takes her job WAY too seriously wanted to charge me $15 to get into the Lifetime Fitness pool I decided to take my business else wear.
So after roaming around town in our swimwear all afternoon we decided to just keep with what was working and roam around town on the scooters. I know it's pretty white trash, but you know you have to go with what works.
We did eventually get out of the swimwear in order to go to the fireworks in Sugarhouse park. Now I don't know if its just me or if I am speaking collectively for the group here but I need to know where all these people hide out throughout the year. I am talking about the mullet heads, the men in cutoff shorts and a tank top with hiking boots, the large breasted women in halter tops...you know the people I am talking about. You know the ones that park it at the park all day long with a bucket of chicken (I have a goal to do this next year). But seriously, it is some fine people watching. It was also really nice to sit in between 2 Hispanic families who when the fireworks would go off they would say, "Mucho El Fuego" OK maybe that's not a direct translation but you get the idea.

Now this is probably the cherry on top as far as stories go. While at the Logan fireworks on Thursday night a certain friend of mine brought her middle aged parents to the fireworks. I wound up sitting on the same blanket with them, let's call them Paula and Dean (not Paula Dean from foodnetwork). As the fireworks are going off Dean leans over to Paula and whispered, "All human life starts with a little explosion..." You know that question, would you rather be deaf or blind? I usually pick blind, but at that moment I would have changed to deaf. I thought it was a little weird and of course NO ONE ELSE heard it but me...naturally. So, I kind of brushed the whole incident off until after the fireworks when Paula told me that she had to hurry home to call her son. Why you ask...."I have to hurry and call and wish him happy birthday because he was conceived on the 4th of July." And then I remembered all human life starts with a little explosion.
Parents, maybe its just me, but I feel as if I can speak pretty collectively for the whole group here. We as your children...or your children's friends don't want to hear these kinds of things. I think we are all still hopeing and imagining we came by stork...just like in DUMBO. Please don't take this hope and dream from us....

24 comments:

Shauna said...

ok duh. you know i read this.

UM I LOVED THIS STORY. Now everytime i see a firework im going to think "every life starts with a little explosion." SO NASTY. I think i may start buying my friends fireworks for their wedding gifts with that little quote written on the gift tag.

in fact i have a wedding this weekend....

The Baker said...

I agree with Shauna, so funny. And sooo weird to call the son because he was concieved on that day. I wish my life was as funny as yours, keep posting I love a good laugh!

The Nielson Family said...

Dear, Sweet, Katie, It is not KATE, it is Katie....little Katie that I knew growing up! Now she's all grown up! Which means, I am an "old bag"!! This is Mary Lou and I LOVE reading all your stuff. I am learning to be a blogger. I am a retard...I figured out how to do a beginning page, but I need some help to look like a professional!! Love you, and add me to your list of friends! Love, Mary Lou xoxo

Gaengy said...

All in a days work for my Katie doo do! Sounds like you had a very eventful day...so glad you were keeping up the Gildea tradition and got some grub at mickey dees!

J & A said...

Where do those people hide? My sister in law went to the Sugarhouse fireworks too and she basically said the same thing. I think I'm going there next year just to watch.

J & A said...

And by the way, do you hate me or something? Do you really insist on not adding me to your "Wolfpack and Orem Folk" friend list? I think I'm offended.

The Webber's said...

Katie-
Thanks for entertaining us with another post! We are up here in Logan now and seem to be everywhere you are but somehow keep missing you! We should get together sometime!

Annie Fitz said...

I laughed out loud. Thank you.

Chelsey said...

I don't think any child should know the day they were conceived. That's wrong is so many ways! I love how you were right up in the mix with them!

Nicole said...

I so miss the Provo celebration of 4th of July. I think it is the best. I want to take the kids there some time because I love ALL of it. The hot air balloons, the parade, the breakfast at McDonalds.

Great post as always.

Now, where is my button. I don't want to be doing any comparing, but you DO have Natalie's but not mine. Get that done ASAP!

tara said...

um...it was me..I like read your blog ten times a day..what else could I do as a State employee?? I mean come on...you're totally hilar Ü

AnneMarie said...

How do these things keep happening to you?! That is just creepy! And the poor son getting a phone call every year on that day, these are things children do not want to think about!

Julie Knowlton said...

Oh my GOSH! How do these things happen to you?! I also will never view fireworks the same anymore. And I will never view anyone by the name of Paula or Dean the same way either.

Natalie Que said...

That story was almost too much! A friend from high school's Dad {not sure that was English...} came into the Juice press once COVERED in hickies. He tried to cover them up with hemp necklaces, which were "popular" at the time. It wasn't working, most likely because the skin coming out of his shirt until his jawline was one big hickey.

Glad you had a nice white trash day. And you're right, besides being at Lagoon, where do you all you people hang out all year?!

M. said...

you are never not funny.

Anonymous said...

Well, since I just found your blog link on your Facebook, please don't yell at me. LOL! But, I have revealed myself. Very funny blog post by the way.

The Wells Family said...

between your comments and "shauna's"...i think I don't have any to say. i am completely speechless. maybe that is why i never comment...i am always completely speechless by how hilarious your life is compared to mine where the most excitement in a day is counting how many boogers are wiped on my shirt from a toddler or how long i can go without brushing my teeth in the day before they grow sweaters? sick, i know. life of a mother.

Kendall Watkins said...

UGH.... My parents are so open about that stuff and I hate it! It is the sickest thing ever.

Muncher Cruncher said...

katie. I've said it once and i'll say it again. I freaking love you. When are you moving down south??

Nicole said...

Really it is kind of sad that they know what day the kid was concieved. I assume they were young people when the blessed event occured. The converstaion should go more like, "I do not know what day you were conceived, we were tearing it up a that whole week". And you thought it could not get worse.

Nicole said...

That comment was from dad, just so you know. Pop Pop never signs in as himself.

Chelsi Lasater said...

SICK!!!! What a perv!!! I had mucho fun at our little luncheon the other day.

Clegg Family said...

Will you please continue to have the title of each post encompassed in your first picture? The 4th, The Stork, & White Trash Behavior all seen in one picture...beautifully done, Kate.

Whitney said...

i love that you hit the town in your swimsuit and halter cover up. you truly were keepin it real and showing your patriotic side! and as far as the parents comments all i have to say is "what the beep!!".
also, coming soon on my blog is a little lovin for you! just a heads up a head of time.